With nowhere to go, it’s Klaus who suggests that the Umbrellas take shelter at the Hotel Obsidian - a once-luxurious, currently decrepit hotel where the amenities include “sleeping on bunk beds” and “peeing out of windows.” So the remainder of the episode settles into another one of Umbrella Academy’s most comfortable wheelhouses: a cheerfully shaggy extended hangout session for the six Hargreeves children, heavy on banter and light on plot. After a kickoff that lengthy and action-packed, the show, like its characters, needs a breather. When the dust settles, our heroes run away to lick their wounds, leaving their very useful time-travel briefcase behind.Īfter that very frenetic opening brawl, it’s at this moment - 21 minutes into the premiere! - that the show’s title finally comes up. And while the Umbrellas put up a decent fight, they’re no match for the Sparrows. Speaking of Jayme’s weird power: After a spit-induced fantasy that doubles as Umbrella Academy’s latest excuse to get the whole cast to dance to a catchy pop song - it’s “Footloose” this time - an actual fight breaks out. Like the Umbrellas, they’re an eclectic bunch, with powers ranging from predictable (Marcus is very strong!) to offbeat (Jayme has magic spit that makes people hallucinate!) to, uh, very offbeat (Christopher is a floating green cube)! The show begins with an info dump introducing us to the six new Sparrows (alongside Ben, who we already know). How do you pay off a cliffhanger like that? The season-three premiere has our answer: efficiently, if not elegantly. It wasn’t exactly clear what all of this meant - the show hadn’t actually cast the Sparrows yet, so everybody but Ben appeared in shadow -but whatever they saw, it was bad enough to make several members of the Umbrella Academy say, “shit.” Instead, Reginald Hargreeves adopted a different gaggle of superpowered kids and called them Sparrow Academy. In this alternate future, the Umbrella Academy never existed. When our heroes returned to the present - triumphant after they’d saved the world in Dallas circa 1963 - they discovered that the timeline itself had been altered to remove pretty much everything about life as they knew it. It’s been nearly two years since The Umbrella Academy ended its second season on a cheeky cliffhanger.
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